Depressing

Today I was shopping with my daughter at a store that my mother is a regular, I warned my daughter that I wasn’t going to be happy if I saw my mother there.  Well, low and behold my daughter looked at me and said go outside your mother is here.  I ran outside, not because I was scared or because I didn’t want to see her, but because it was uncomfortable to my daughter.  My daughter wants her grandmother but since the decision of myself not to see my mother it has been hard for my children.  They don’t want to be around my stepfather, (my abuser), but they miss my mother.  It’s so sad.  I don’t mourn for myself any more, I mourn for the confusion of my daughters.  After that my daughter didn’t hardly want to go and have fun anymore, my mother snubbed her also.  It’s so hard, I pray that some day my daughter’s understand the same thing I do, My mother is toxic to anyone or anything she touches.  It’s worse for them to have something to do with her than not.

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