I am still struggling. I am trying to fight. I don’t want to die really an longer but I do want to have my energy and my normality back. I pray for God to see fit to give my joy for life back to me. What can I do besides pray for it. That was written in June 27th of 1995.~~~~~Today is August 5th 2013 and I realize that yes I have God in my life but there may always be that struggle for normality in my life. A struggle to be wanted, needed. to be protected and loved, that no human being will ever be able to provide. I am strong, I am a loner. I am here for me, I and my God are all I can truly count on.