Wish I haven’t gotten out of bed, TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS

I have been having such a rough month, I had a horrible reaction to hair dye and am now on my 3rd round of steroids.  Yet, I’m still getting up and going, trying to do the usual routine.  I have had no sleep, I still stay up when I’d rather be in bed, just to give someone some time and company.  Today, I woke up tired, yet positive.  One word, one phrase can ruin someone’s whole day and attitude, well, today it happened to me.  Most days are difficult for me, a fight, a struggle to not think of the past.  I push through though and have been doing a bang up job most days.  Some days I feel so under appreciated, and taken for granted.  Today, was one of those days.  It puts you in such a funk when someone is selfish enough to think of only themselves when they spew stupid things out of their mouths.  Bad day? Uh, yep.  Thinking about it though, 7 years of the same type of bad day, that shouldn’t happen any more at all.  I am growing numb to certain things.  My emotions aren’t much any more.  I have less sympathy than ever.  I am not Pollyanna, every day is not a bed of roses, or at least not without the thorns.  I want to be loved, and cherished.  Am I cherished?  How many faces do I wear, and how many faces do those around you wear?  Daily face, church face, ok face, fake smile face, I’m perfect face, I’m better than you face, etc….. Hypocrisy.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Walk the talk.  Today, I’m not positive, so sue me.  Sometimes I just don’t want to try.  Today is one of those days, why?  Because someone was selfish enough to start my day off with harsh words.  I’m tired, today I’m not trying, maybe I will tomorrow.

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