Joy in the mist of sorrow

Although I no longer see my mother on Christmas, or any other day for that matter, I have joy in the ones that I do get to spend time with.  My husband, two daughters, and his five children.  Yesterday, I heard the heartbeat of my grand baby, Isla, due February 10th.  What joy that brought to me!  To see my oldest daughter’s beautiful pregnant belly, knowing, that the baby she carries also has my DNA.  A little piece of me that will carry on, raised in an environment free of dysfunction.  Free of knowing my mother.  She has a chance, for a normal life.  The wonder of what she will look like, if she will call me Nona, like I would want her to.  Will she love me?  Oh how I already love this child.  You see, my youngest and my oldest daughters, lost a child before Isla, and I know someday, I will get to see them.  How can I be negative or have sorrow, with the knowledge that my grandchild is coming soon.  And who knows, my youngest might have one before I know it.  A new start.  It gives all of us, a new start.  Not that her life will be perfect, but she has more of a chance, to be mentally stable than I did.  All I can say is, thank you Lord for second chances, and the wonders in life that keep us going.

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