Good days, Bad days

Today, I think, is a bad day.  I’m so very tired.  Lately, I am having dreams, bad dreams.  They’re bad because I don’t want to have them.  Dreams of my past life, and things I wish I could do in real life.  Example:  I would love closure with my ex, tell him off and tell him what a mess he made of my life 11 years ago, and how he hurt my kids.  Dreams of how I tell my mother she is a selfish bitch, and is missing out on a real family.  Yes, I’m being very frank and candid.  I have to.  The more I express the better I feel.  Don’t hold back your feelings, because it will eat you up inside.  Now that I know I can express myself, I feel a weight lifted off of my heart and mind.  It is necessary to be honest about your feelings, even if you don’t have a blog, get a journal and fill those blank pages.  You WILL have good days and bad days.  The bad days you can turn into good days, if you put forth the effort.  Take the advise from an expert, that used to be nothing but negative.  Negativity and self pity will ruin your life!

What is mother or a mother?

As a mother of two daughters, one 26 and one 20, a stepmother to 5, I ponder this question. What is a mother?  Well, let’s explore the text book view of motherhood: 

  • n.noun
    1. A woman who gives birth to a child.

    2. A woman whose egg unites with a sperm, producing an embryo.

    3. A woman who adopts a child.

    4. A woman who raises a child.

    5. A female parent of an animal.

    6. A female ancestor.

    7. A woman who holds a position of authority or responsibility similar to that of a mother.

      a den mother.

    8. A mother superior.

    9. Used as a form of address for such a woman.

    10. A woman who creates, originates, or founds something.

    11. A creative source; an origin.

      Philosophy is the mother of the sciences.

    12. Used as a title for a woman respected for her wisdom and age.

    13. Maternal love and tenderness.

      brought out the mother in her

      As you can see, the text book definition shows us that anything or anyone can carry the title “mother,”  but what we need to figure out, is, what is a mom’s role.  In my opinion, she is a major player in the developmental aspect of a child.  Whose is the first face that a child sees when he or she is brought into this world?  She even knows this child before everyone else around her can see evidence that there is a human being about to make their presence known to the world.  To me, she is such an important person in a child’s life.  I ponder this today, because of two things.  My daughter is pregnant with my first grand child, and, geesh it has been a hard road for her.  Yet, she struggles and hangs in there, knowing that this little baby is depending on her.  The second thing is that, my mother gave birth to me, I thought she loved me, because, well, she did give birth to me.  That isn’t the only role of a mom though.  After that child enters the world out of the mother’s womb, it is on her to protect and nurture that child.  Yes, the father, in some or most cases should play a part in this.  Let’s not ignore the fact though, that mom knew this child first.  In my case, my mom gave birth to me, met my physical needs, clothed me, bathed me and in some ways taught me some things.  She did teach me manners, I did know who God was, but she did not complete her motherly task.  She married a molester, to her demise, she taught me not to keep secrets and that I could tell her anything.  So I did, I told her my stepfather molested me.  She believed me, he admitted it, my mom, did nothing.  She dropped her responsibility of protecting me.  As Bill Murray said, “What a slap in the face!”  A mother’s role does not end when it becomes inconvenient to the mother, because it might mess up her plans to be comfortable and well maintained.  Yet, it did for my mother.  She chose her comfortable life style over protecting me, her child.  A mother’s role isn’t just a pregnancy, it doesn’t end there.  In fact, there are mothers that have never given birth, yet they are more of a mother than my biological mother.  Mother is sacred, in my case, I haven’t been perfect, no mothers are, yet after seeing my daughter in pain, I know that I would rather be in pain myself than see her in pain.  I would gladly trade spaces with her.  Mother, not a word or role to be taken lightly.  And now, I have a new role that I am about to embark on.  Nona, Italian for Grandma.  I will not take it lightly.  I will protect this child to the best of my ability and I will respect my daughter’s wishes because, she, is the MOTHER.

    14.      Remember, mom, you are responsible for protecting that child, if you don’t feel you can handle the role, don’t get pregnant.  Harsh, but so true!  Save the pregnancy and motherhood for the people that plan on protecting and caring for that child.  Do you job, it’s a job you can’t resign from or retire from.  Once a mother always a mother.