What is mother or a mother?

As a mother of two daughters, one 26 and one 20, a stepmother to 5, I ponder this question. What is a mother?  Well, let’s explore the text book view of motherhood: 

  • n.noun
    1. A woman who gives birth to a child.

    2. A woman whose egg unites with a sperm, producing an embryo.

    3. A woman who adopts a child.

    4. A woman who raises a child.

    5. A female parent of an animal.

    6. A female ancestor.

    7. A woman who holds a position of authority or responsibility similar to that of a mother.

      a den mother.

    8. A mother superior.

    9. Used as a form of address for such a woman.

    10. A woman who creates, originates, or founds something.

    11. A creative source; an origin.

      Philosophy is the mother of the sciences.

    12. Used as a title for a woman respected for her wisdom and age.

    13. Maternal love and tenderness.

      brought out the mother in her

      As you can see, the text book definition shows us that anything or anyone can carry the title “mother,”  but what we need to figure out, is, what is a mom’s role.  In my opinion, she is a major player in the developmental aspect of a child.  Whose is the first face that a child sees when he or she is brought into this world?  She even knows this child before everyone else around her can see evidence that there is a human being about to make their presence known to the world.  To me, she is such an important person in a child’s life.  I ponder this today, because of two things.  My daughter is pregnant with my first grand child, and, geesh it has been a hard road for her.  Yet, she struggles and hangs in there, knowing that this little baby is depending on her.  The second thing is that, my mother gave birth to me, I thought she loved me, because, well, she did give birth to me.  That isn’t the only role of a mom though.  After that child enters the world out of the mother’s womb, it is on her to protect and nurture that child.  Yes, the father, in some or most cases should play a part in this.  Let’s not ignore the fact though, that mom knew this child first.  In my case, my mom gave birth to me, met my physical needs, clothed me, bathed me and in some ways taught me some things.  She did teach me manners, I did know who God was, but she did not complete her motherly task.  She married a molester, to her demise, she taught me not to keep secrets and that I could tell her anything.  So I did, I told her my stepfather molested me.  She believed me, he admitted it, my mom, did nothing.  She dropped her responsibility of protecting me.  As Bill Murray said, “What a slap in the face!”  A mother’s role does not end when it becomes inconvenient to the mother, because it might mess up her plans to be comfortable and well maintained.  Yet, it did for my mother.  She chose her comfortable life style over protecting me, her child.  A mother’s role isn’t just a pregnancy, it doesn’t end there.  In fact, there are mothers that have never given birth, yet they are more of a mother than my biological mother.  Mother is sacred, in my case, I haven’t been perfect, no mothers are, yet after seeing my daughter in pain, I know that I would rather be in pain myself than see her in pain.  I would gladly trade spaces with her.  Mother, not a word or role to be taken lightly.  And now, I have a new role that I am about to embark on.  Nona, Italian for Grandma.  I will not take it lightly.  I will protect this child to the best of my ability and I will respect my daughter’s wishes because, she, is the MOTHER.

    14.      Remember, mom, you are responsible for protecting that child, if you don’t feel you can handle the role, don’t get pregnant.  Harsh, but so true!  Save the pregnancy and motherhood for the people that plan on protecting and caring for that child.  Do you job, it’s a job you can’t resign from or retire from.  Once a mother always a mother.

4 thoughts on “What is mother or a mother?

  1. That day in my room, when she ‘lectured’ me, with hot tears scalding my cheeks. If only she had swept me in her arms and told me it would never happen again… if only. I believe if she had comforted me, and really made sure they didn’t attack again, and punished them, I would have been spared further breakage.

  2. menaburt07 says:

    Probably true Grace to Survive, I have severed ties with my mother, and now I am much healthier. All we can do now, is move forward. Not an easy road, but I am here to tell you, it is possible. The old saying, “Where there is will there is a way,” is very true. We are strong, and I, myself, will never ever give my mom the power to destroy me ever again. There is hope, and you can do this. I have seen the light and I am roping it in. 🙂

  3. I never separated from my Mom except for the first year I when into therapy about my past. After that our close but up and down relationship continued until her death 5 years ago at the age of 91.
    She stuck by me even though I displayed much rage towards her. In return for my rage I received criticism. Still, we loved each other, but neither of us knew how much until it was almost too late; the last week of her life while I held her hand as she lie there knowing her death was soon to come
    I experienced one moment of pure love. It had been there all along, but my rage and her criticism kept us from it until that one moment.

  4. menaburt07 says:

    That is really hard I’m sure. I talked to my mom many times, and just recently myself and my two children sat with her, and told her if she wanted a relationship with us, she could not be with my stepfather. She only cares about being comfortable and not having to try to make it on her own. For some they are able to deal with the betrayal from their mothers, as for us, we were no longer willing to risk the victimization.

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