I observe so much more as I get older, I know more.  I have realized my mistakes, and some of them not completely my fault, whether it be, wrong advice or just pure ignorance from what I was taught.  You cannot  change past decisions, but you can make today better that yesterday.  The more I see my granddaughter the more I ponder on things and my eyes open up.  As I told my daughter today, I wish people had given us better advice.  Like, stay away from your stepfather, molesters never change.  We instead were fed a line of bull, “Oh, he’s changed, it won’t happen again,”  Lies!  As far as I am observing, now, I think he hurt even more people than I was ever aware of.  Thank God, I don’t have to see him ever again.  Although I am talking to my mom, and trying to be around her, she still upsets me and disgusts me if I think about things too much.  It’s very hard when that person is still married to the person that messed your childhood up.  

I have my true family though, and they make me happy and it just keeps growing.  There is always something to look to besides the past.