Self Evaluation

 In so many areas of my life, I have done things only to please someone else and have left myself feeling so empty inside.  Either the person I was trying to please, eventually left or betrayed me, or they stopped aprrecitating my efforts all together.  Years of living and gaining wisdom, has led me to the thoughts I have today, if you don’t like me for me, then to hell with you.  Plain and simple.  It’s unreal that it took me 47 years to figure that out.  I owe no one anything, but my God!!!  I will be curteous, and try to put others feelings at a very high level, but I will never be a door mat again.  I need to love myself, if someone close to me doesn’t understand that then they are the ones with the issue.  I HAVE to value myself to live a life worth living.  

    How many times in your own life, have you laid awake at night wondering what someone else thought of you?  Whether it be, something you said, the way you looked, or something another person said to you.  I can’t do it anymore!  It was wearing me out and driving me insane.  Don’t wear this, they’ll look down on you.  Oh crap, better not post that on Facebook, someone will think I’m horrible, or don’t buy that bottle of wine there, too many will see me and think I’m a drunk.  No, not happening Ever again.  I know, what God tells me, you don’t.  If you look down on me for something, well, that’s your own self loathing not mine.  With me; what you see is what you get.  I say what I mean, and mean what I say.  I am self maintained for the most part and I don’t need someone else’s approval.  

    I am a grown  ass woman that has feelings and needs.  And I don’t need fake, judgemental people around me at all.  I won’t have anyone around me like that.  Life is too short to look for approval from people that wouldn’t give a plug nickle if I fell off of the face of the earth right now.  So, if you don’t like what I have blogged, or posted, Please unfollow me and forget you ever saw my name, because I probably don’t even know yours.

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